Why am I writing a recipe for how to fail as a Christian? To answer that, I need to confess my secret desire.
Before I started my blog, I first went on the web to learn all I could about creating a blog. As I would read and learn, I discovered that many of those on the web I was learning from were food bloggers. Their websites had pretty pictures of delicious food and cute step-by-step directions.
I also wanted to have easy step-by-step directions and cute pictures on my blog. Therefore, I have written A Recipe for Disaster.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, this is a tongue-in-cheek article. Yet, if you do the opposite of this recipe, you will thrive and experience blessing as you walk out your Christian life.
How to Fail as a Christian
There are very deliberate steps you must take if you want to fail as a Christian. These steps are hard to accomplish, so first I will list them for you (the recipe) and then I will give you step-by-step (the cute instructions) on how to accomplish this failure.
The Recipe for Disaster:
- Attend church 1.2 times a month.
- Stop worshiping at home.
- Stop reading your Bible.
- Stop making time for prayer.
- Don’t judge yourself.
There you have the recipe for disaster. Five steps to failing as a Christian. Again, they are hard, but I am sure you can accomplish each step if you try hard enough.
Now let me break down each step for you.
Step One to Fail as a Christian
The first step is to attend church only 1.2 times a month, just like the average professing Christian in the United States. It may also be the most difficult one for faithful Christians. It is like learning not only how to crack an egg with one hand, but then separating the whites with one hand. One-handed chefs must accomplish this every day. You will need to be as determined as a one-handed chef to accomplish this step.
The problem with step one for faithful Christians is they are used to attending church whenever the doors open. It is a tough habit to break, but it can be done. I know you have been attending church on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and every special event.
Stop that! It is detrimental to your failure as a Christian. It is like a cake with too much leavening agent. The whole thing falls flat. This is what your church attendance is doing to your failing as a Christian.
You must cut back to attending church only 1.2 times a month. And then, only Sunday mornings. Why only 1.2 times a month? According to the most recent studies, this is how often the average American Christian attends church.
Therefore, in this first step, you must cut back on your church attendance. This is the most vital step in the whole recipe. Once you accomplish this step, then the other four are just a piece of cake. (What is it with me and my food analogies?)
Why is this first step so important? If you attend church every week, and especially two or more times a week, you will hear too much Scripture. The more Scripture you hear, the more your faith grows. The Scripture will also renew your mind, which causes you to act more Christlike. All of this leads to success as a Christian and not failure.
Not only is it the Scripture but, it is also the fellowship.
Stop Fellowship with Other Christians
You must stop hanging out with other church-going Christians. They will only encourage you to continue attending church too frequently and they will hold you accountable for all those other Christian habits.
It is easy to accomplish this. Concentrate on all the faults the people in the church have and ignore any that you have. This will give you the hypocritical viewpoint you must have toward fellowship.
Now you can alienate all your Christian friends yet attend church 1.2 times a month. This way, you can still tell everyone you attend church regularly. If they push with any more questions, just snap back and say, “Don’t judge me! Jesus says you aren’t supposed to judge.”
This response will stop 99% of all Christians. That 1% will probably quote Hebrews 10:25 and make you feel convicted about not going to church. If, in the rare event, this happens, stomp off in indignation. Then remind yourself that it is perfectly all right to attend church online.
Now you have fully justified sleeping in on Sunday mornings.
Step Two to Fail as a Christian
Stop playing worship music at home. You can’t worship God at home without feeling tremendous pangs of guilt. You will start playing the top 40 Christian music and soon there will be these warm feelings inside about the time you sang that song at church and God moved on you mightily.
It is a very similar feeling to what you experienced the first time you had a croissant from Cheddars restaurant. (You can find the copycat recipe on the food bloggers’ websites. They will have step-by-step recipes like this, and you also get to see all those pretty pictures that will start your mouth watering.)
You can never successfully fail as a Christian if you worship God at home. Oh, I know others say they can, but it isn’t so. If you worship at home, it draws you back into regular church attendance. You won’t have the willpower to resist.
It is like being on a diet and making a chocolate ganache cake than saying you won’t eat any. It is only for the family, of course. Let’s get real! No one in the history of the world has ever done that.
Therefore, just skip the worship music at home and while driving. Instead, listen to a talk show on the radio where someone is bashing the president. That will get you all worked up and angry with very unchristian feelings and thoughts. This, too, will help your efforts to fail as a Christian.
Step Three to Fail as a Christian
Now is the time to stop reading your Bible. Oh, it’s okay to keep using your little promise box of scriptures. This way you can talk about how you don’t attend church yet read scripture every day.
But any time you sit down and read the Bible, it will feed your spirit and make it more powerful. Let’s face it, God’s Word is spiritual food. You don’t want a powerful spirit if you are to succeed at failing as a Christian.
A powerful spirit will then control your mind and the next thing you know, your mind is commanding your body to get up and go to church on Sunday morning. We can’t be having any of that!
For you to be successful at failing as a Christian, you must stop reading your Bible. The spiritual food the Word provides for your spirit will make it more powerful.
A powerful spirit will renew your mind to the Word of God. As the mind becomes renewed, it will control your body. A body that is controlled by a renewed mind will resist sin.
Resisting sin will make you more Christlike and you will become a more successful Christian. With this success comes a blessing, which only encourages you to do more to be a better Christian.
Now that I have explained the reasoning behind not reading your Bible, I am sure you can see how detrimental it is to your success when you want to fail as a Christian.
Here are the articles I wrote to help with Bible study:
First Bold Step to Your Success | Read Scripture Daily
Develop Core Scriptures To Create Bold Balance In Your Life
Bible Study for Beginners: The Simple Method for Young and Old
Step Four to Fail as a Christian
You are too deep into failing as a Christian to stop now. This is the time to stop praying. Oh, you can still do those little last-minute desperate prayers. They won’t stop your success from failure as a Christian.
You must stop spending time in your prayer closet. This one-on-one time with your Heavenly Father must stop so you can fail as a Christian.
When you spend time alone with God in your prayer closet, you are giving Him time to talk to you. Through the Holy Spirit, God will guide your ways and choose the path you walk in life.
This will create blessings and success as a Christian. The very thing you are trying to avoid.
You will lose intimacy with God when you stop praying in your prayer closet. This loss of intimacy causes your fervor to cool. Then, without fervor, you will stop putting the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first in your life.
Therefore, you are well on your way to failing as a Christian.
Here are my most popular articles on prayer:
Powerful Prayers to Transform You Into Having a Bold Life View
Step Five to Fail as a Christian
Here we have the final and very important step to fail as a Christian. Don’t judge yourself. Now, what does that mean?
Do not judge your actions or the words you speak. Christians judge their actions and words against what God tells us in His Word. They always strive to act and talk in a way that is pleasing to God.
You don’t want to judge yourself if you want to succeed in failing as a Christian. Go ahead. Talk and act the way you want to and not the way God desires you to.
Throw off those godly restrictions and do what you want to do.
Who Wants to Fail as a Christian?
Now you have A Recipe for Disaster: How to Fail as a Christian. Follow each of the five steps diligently and you will succeed at failing as a Christian.
But remember, this is a tongue-in-cheek article. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to fail as a Christian. Living the life of faith as a Christian is exhilarating.
I can’t imagine how non-Christians make it in the world. Being a Christian gives you eternal hope. No matter what happens, faith in God’s Word and this eternal hope will bring you through.
Therefore, if you want to succeed as a Christian, do the opposite of these five steps. Do this:
- Attend church whenever the doors are open. Get involved.
- Worship at home.
- Read your Bible daily.
- Spend time alone with God in your prayer closet.
- Judge yourself.
These five steps will lead you to success as a Christian. Sure, there are more than the five steps I have listed here. But doing these five steps will lead you into everything you must know to experience success and blessing.
The article was fun to write. I pray you will follow my recipe for success as a Christian. I hope you enjoyed reading the article. Yet, even more important, I pray this article caused you to ponder your ways.
Think about what you are doing now, judge yourself, and then correct your ways. May God bless you abundantly beyond all you can ask or hope.
Here are some of my other articles that will help you to succeed as a Christian:
5 Steps to Change Your Future With A New Bold Life View
Believe: What Secret Does It Hold For You Today?
Daniel: Discovering the Secrets to Your Boldly Living Today Without Compromise
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